Dare to Share: Uncomfortable Conversations That Need to Be Had

By Elizabeth Gilreath, Contributing Writer

There’s a video going around of a beautiful, young actress speaking from behind a wooden podium with dainty flowers lining the wall behind her. On first glance, it looks like another glamorous award show acceptance speech. However, this woman is not giving a speech for best actress; she is using her voice at a luncheon for the 2017 Variety’s Power of Women event to shed light on the horrific reality of child pornography. Her name is Blake Lively, and although she is being honored at the event, she has turned all attention to this terrible issue that affects so many children around the world. Words often left unsaid pour through her mouth. The audience cannot unhear the painful things she says while holding back tears, and no one who hears her speech can claim ignorance about the realities of child pornography.

With one compelling question, Lively demands the attention of every person in the audience: What is the value of a single child’s life? With all eyes on her, she begins to talk about the sexual exploitation of children in the United States. She makes it clear that this is not an isolated issue only plaguing children overseas or in developing countries, but it is one happening in communities across our nation. Child exploitation can happen anywhere in the world because files and explicit media are transferred and downloaded through the web. 

As Lively details her journey learning about sexual exploitation and child pornography, she addresses the unavoidable elephant in the room: What exactly is child pornography? Although she was afraid of the answer, she knew she had to ask this difficult question. According to Lively, child pornography, more helpfully referred to by the Child Rescue Coalition as “child sexual abuse material,” can be nude or explicit images, videos or other materials, including of children having sexual acts performed on them. Based on this definition, child pornography involves anyone under the age of 18. Not only are teens included, but so are newborn babies—even with the umbilical cord still attached—toddlers and prepubescent individuals. According to a joint technical report by ECPAT and Interpol, more than 60% of unidentified victims included in retrieved child sexual abuse material were of prepubescent age, and about 4.3% were infants or toddlers. The same study states, “The younger the victim, the more severe the abuse was likely to be.”

Lively also mentions a ChildHelp statistic that states that 90% of children know their abusers. Child exploitation can happen while a child lives in their home, where someone could repeatedly record explicit media of them. In addition, Lively explains that some abusers will find jobs that give them easy access to children, jobs where parents trust the professionals and may be more apt to letting their guards down. A recent and well-known example is the case of Jeffrey Epstein’s involvement with child sex trafficking. He was unsuspecting: a wealthy American businessman who had connections to many major politicians, celebrities and powerful individuals. Like many abusers, he was hiding in plain sight.

Every day, 30–50 million files of child sexual abuse material are traded online. The Child Rescue Coalition states that up to 85% of abusers viewing child sexual abuse material online are also abusing children in person. As referenced in Lively’s video, only 10% of children speak up after they have been abused. Children may speak out years after the abuse or not at all. Often, they are afraid of not being believed or that their abuser will inflict more harm. In some cases, they may not have a trusted adult to confide in because the abuser is a family member.

Imagine what the audience looked like during Lively’s speech. Surely there were people uncomfortably squirming in their seats and others wondering why she had to ruin the mood with such a dreary topic. Perhaps some predators sat completely still and full of fear, knowing that their exploitation would no longer go unnoticed. Most importantly, there was hope for those in attendance who had been abused as children. Speaking up about these topics is uncomfortable, sure, but it’s also brave. It’s worth 10 minutes of awkward conversation or glares from those who do not approve. It’s worth rescuing a 5-year-old child who has been abused since she was 3 months old. It’s worth prosecuting an abusive doctor who has exploited many and was hoping to manipulate more. Thanks to Lively’s speech, the burden of responsibility can be shared among all who have heard her words. 

Will you dare to step out and have these difficult conversations? Change starts with awareness of the problem. There is hope for those being abused, fear for the abusers and justice for those who have been hurt. You don’t have to be a parent, family member or loved one of an abused child to notice the warning signs. A child can be abused by anyone, but they can also be helped by anyone. Whether or not a child is yours, their life matters and is invaluable. They matter to God, and they should matter to us. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:8-9 (NLT), “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.”

The Child Rescue Coalition is still fighting for the lives of exploited children. This organization is training investigators and offering law enforcement authorities free use of their child pornography screening program, which helps authorities track individuals who view explicit material. Just as the organization continues to fight for children, so can all people. Individuals can better support children by teaching adults and children alike about appropriate boundaries and personal space and how to tell an adult when boundaries are violated. They can also create a safe and welcoming environment for children to share sensitive information, advocate for children, learn the signs of sexual abuse in children and adults, keep their eyes and ears open to speak up when they notice something and hold on to hope for these children.

You can help child sex trafficking victims by sharing One Bread Foundation’s mission and cause with your family and friends. If you are not already signed up to receive our monthly newsletter, please do so for yourself and others in the footer of any page of our website at one-bread.org. There are so many children who need our help. Let’s accomplish this mission together.

Sources and Further Reading

Blake Lively's 2017 speech at Variety's Power of Women event

'Child abuse statistics & facts' 

Interpol's International Child Sexual Exploitation database

'It's not child pornography, it's child sexual abuse material'

'Warning signs of possible sexual abuse in a child's behaviors'