By Chitara Ellis, Contributing Writer/Editor

Why didn’t she fight back?

Why didn’t you take it like a man?

Why didn’t you leave?

Unfortunately, survivors of human trafficking, sexual assault and abuse are often met with these questions. Victim blaming is defined by Harvard Law School as “the attitude which suggests that the victim rather than the perpetrator bears responsibility for the assault.” This attitude makes the healing process for survivors more difficult and promotes fear in victims who suffer in secret and want to speak out. The normalization of victim blaming can seep into our justice system and prevent attackers from receiving their due punishment. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network says that less than 1% of sexual assault perpetrators go to prison or jail and 3 out of 4 attacks are never reported to the police. 

We need to challenge the myths surrounding sexual violence to build a safer and more just society. Georgetown Law has a comprehensive list of common myths regarding sexual violence. They can all be summarized around three themes: consent, the victim’s initial response and the identity of the perpetrator.

Myth: Consent can be complicated. 

The network explains that consent is all about verbal communication. Physiological responses are involuntary, so they’re not signs of consent. Consent is always a clear yes or no. Saying yes for one moment does not mean yes for everything. An underaged person or someone who is under the influence is automatically incapable of consent.

Myth: A victim’s initial response to being attacked can vindicate the attacker.

A victim may go into shock or feel trapped while being attacked and freeze in response—mentally and emotionally disassociating from the attack as a means of survival. This behavior is mistaken as “going along with it.” The brain’s decision to freeze is why victims do not scream for help and cannot remember details of the attack. Freezing is not a sign of consent; it’s a common and natural response to trauma. This article from The Washington Post by Dr. James W. Hopper explains this phenomenon in more scientific terms. 

Myth: Attackers are strong male strangers who prey on weak, attractive women.

Sexual violence is about exerting power over another; it has nothing to do with gender or attraction. Most victims of sexual violence know their attackers—it can be a spouse, an ex, a childhood friend or a coworker. Georgetown Law states over half of reported attacks involve underaged victims. Anyone, regardless of age or gender, can be attacked.

We can help stop the normalization of victim blaming by responding to it with facts and empathy for victims. Remember: Over half of reported attacks involve underaged victims and only 3 out of 4 attacks are reported. This means there are far more underaged victims out there, and they need our voice to defend them. To support children aged 8–18, consider signing up to give a monthly donation of $1.00 (yes, one single dollar per month) and help us reach our goal of recruiting 1 million supporters to raise awareness and funds for rehabilitation centers serving children rescued from sex trafficking in all 50 states. Learn more here.